Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
