My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
