It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
