Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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