If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
