Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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