how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You ate ashes out of my bong
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