I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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