We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
