Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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