So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
