omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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