Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
