i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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