I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
