I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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