laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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