The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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