Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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