the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
