Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish I only lived at night.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
