I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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