your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
