Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
