one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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