the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
