I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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