yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
