so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
