I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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