Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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