we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
