It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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