my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
