My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
how drunk are you?
Several
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
