im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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