How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
