A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
