why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
