I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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