I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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