He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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