didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
