I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My feet surprised me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
