Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
