I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
