Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
