I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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