When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
