So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
