I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Text me some of your sweat
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