I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Someone signed my nipple.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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