The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
