i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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