it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
