I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
