the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
