oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
my liver is dry heaving
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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