dude i'm inner monologue high
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
