i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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