i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize