I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
