Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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