I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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