dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
