I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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