My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
