6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
