there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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