oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i believe in u and ur pee
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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