How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
