a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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